Дорогий Інтерпол

Вдячний лист феміністки до Інтерполу з приводу затримання засновника Wikileaks

переклав Артем Чапай

Дорогий Інтерпол,

Як активна феміністка впродовж тривалого часу, я сповнююся радості, відкривши для себе вашу нову відданість справі полювання по всьому світу на чоловіків, які поводяться як самозакохані козли стосовно жінок, із якими вони зустрічаються.

Я так бачу, що Джуліана Ассанджа звинувачують у тому, що він займався сексом із двома жінками, зраджуючи їм обом таким чином - і в одному випадку навіть використав гандон, який порвався. Я так розумію, зі скарг так званих жертв у ЗМІ, що цього Ассанджа також звинувачують у тому, що він писав смс-ки та навіть пости на Твіттер, поки їхав у таксі до квартири однієї з жінок разом із нею, та - як це гидко! - "читав, що пишуть про нього в інтернеті" прямо в машині.

Обидві "жертви" дуже засмучені тим, що він почав зустрічатись із іншою, поки ще не розірвав стосунки з першою. Звичайно, як феміністка, я дуже задоволена тим, що "жертви" використовують феміністичну риторику та законодавство, щоб звернути увагу на свої поранені почуття. Саме за це боролися покоління мужніх феміністок, добиваючись виборчих прав та рівних робочих прав із чоловіками!

Ще раз вам дякую, Інтерпол. Я знаю: тепер вашим пріоритетом стане полювання на чоловіків по всьому світу - я особисто чула мільйон триста тисяч подібних скарг від жінок. І всіх цих мужиків вам слід упіймати та посадити до тюрми!

Я також маю інформацію з перших уст про те, що Джон Сміт у місті Провіденс, штат Род Айленд, пішов на хлопчатник - та ще зі стриптизерками! - хоча його дівчина хотіла, щоб він цього не робив. А Марк Левінсон із міста Корвалліс, штат Орегон, не помітив дуже гарної нової зачіски своєї дівчини - хоча бідолася постригла волосся аж на ВІСІМ САНТИМЕТРІВ!

Це терористи. Впіймайте їх, Інтерпол!
Вдячно ваша,

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